Like it or not, the invention of the internet has radically altered the modern dating scene forever. It used to be that if you wanted to meet attractive girls you had to physically put yourself out there.
Thanks to online dating you can now meet dozens of beautiful girls, anywhere in the world, all without leaving the comfort of your own home. However, as much as online dating provides unprecedented levels of opportunity when it comes to meeting girls, it’s also been a huge source of frustration for countless guys.
The competition online can be extremely fierce, and many guys struggle to convey themselves attractively through a screen. As a result, they often get completely ghosted or unmatched, and as the rejections start to pile up, they quickly begin to contemplate giving up on online dating altogether.
If this is you then you should know that meeting girls online has the potential to be one of the most effective ways to level up your dating life. You just need to know how to go about it. Which is why I decided to write this short guide dedicated to helping you meet girls online the right way.
How Can I Find Girls Online?
In today’s day and age there are endless ways to meet girls online. Here’s a list of a few of the best ones:
Online dating sites & apps – These are entire websites designed to help you meet women online. The nice thing about these sites are that many of them cater to different races, religious/political affiliations, and ethnic/educational backgrounds, allowing you to screen for the kinds of girls you’re interested in meeting
Instagram – Since these days almost every girl under the age of 30 has Instagram, it gives you access to an unlimited pool of gorgeous girls. As opposed to the other options on this list, it also lets you use your stories to generate passive attraction and keep her thinking about you.
How Can I Catch A Girl’s Attention Online?
You’ve probably heard that first impressions are important. Well, when it comes to meeting girls online they’re really important. As I said earlier, you’re probably facing some stiff competition, and all she really has to go off of is your profile. So, it’s crucial that you optimize your profile in order to catch her attention.
First, you want to make sure that the pictures you use are making you look as attractive as possible. I talk to so many guys who complain about not having any success with online dating, and yet when I look at their pictures it’s like they’re not even trying. Here are some of the basics when it comes to taking a good photo:
- Use a DSLR camera if you can. If you want to use a phone instead, make sure it has a high-quality camera
- Lighting is everything. You want your face to be well illuminated by soft natural light, which means that it’s usually a good idea to shoot during “golden hour”, aka right after sunrise or before sunset
- Get someone who knows what they’re doing to take the picture. I highly recommend paying for a professional photographer if you can afford it
- Make sure that the clothes you’re wearing fit you well, and convey that you have a good sense of fashion
- You want your poses to come off as natural as possible. A good way to avoid looking too posed, is to shoot while you’re in motion (like walking down the street, for example). It also might be a good idea to meditate beforehand so you’re projecting a more relaxed vibe during your shoot.
On top of all this, you want to edit your photos before you even think about uploading them to your profile. So many guys skip this really crucial step. You ever notice how much of a gamechanger makeup can be for a girl’s physical appearance? That’s the kind of impact photoshop can have on your pictures. If you’ve never done any photo editing before, then it’s worth paying an expert to do it for you.
Now that we’ve covered your pictures, let’s take a minute to talk about the written part of your profile. Every single dating app or site you use will give you the option of including a bio as part of your profile (and Instagram is no different). This gives you the chance to give girls a glimpse into your personality and what it would be like if they hung out with you in person. Unfortunately, I see so many guys wasting this opportunity, either by listing boring facts about themselves or by opting to not write anything at all.
So how can you write a bio that is going to convey the attractive parts of your personality and catch a girl’s attention online? The key is to show, not tell. You want her to know that you’re funny? Don’t just slap “has a good sense of humor” on your bio and call it a day. Instead, write a bio that will have her cracking up with laughter. Another important point here is to add things in your bio that are conversation starters, in order to make it easier for her to message you first.
What is The Best Way to Approach a Girl Online?
Okay so you have your profile down, and there’s a couple of girls that you’re interested in messaging. Now you need to figure out a good way to get the conversation going. It’s important to remember that your opening message should come across as congruent with the person you are portraying yourself to be in your profile. Beyond that, it’s a good idea to open in a way that’s personally and emotionally relevant to HER. That means you should forget the canned pick-up lines and jokes, even if that’s what she’s asking for in her bio.
Instead, you can comment on something about her profile. You also want to make sure that your opening message has some sort of emotional dimension to it and isn’t just a neutral observation. One great option when it comes to your opening message is to look at her profile and use it to make an assumption about her. To do this, start with the phrase “you seem like the kind of girl who….” and then just fill in the blank based on your overall impression of her. This is called cold reading and can be extremely effective at making her want to message you back.
If you’re really stuck when it comes to writing that first message, or you don’t want to waste time thinking about what to say, then you can check out my month-long Text Game Mentorship program. In it, I share some of the best canned openers that I use which work on almost any kind of girl!
How Do I Attract a Girl Over Text?
Building attraction over text is something a lot of guys struggle with. Even guys with confidence sometimes have a hard time conveying it through a screen. Part of that just has to do with the fact that you have a lot less room for error when it comes to texting compared to a real-life conversation. One bad text is all it takes to completely turn a girl off to the point where you never hear from her again. And there’s nothing worse than screwing up an amazing opportunity with a girl just because your text game sucks.
That’s why I created the UpLevel Text Game Mentorship program, the most comprehensive program known to man for guys who want to really master the art of getting girls through text. Over the years I’ve noticed that giving advice on how to text girls only goes so far. If you’re someone who has no idea how to attract a girl over text, then you need a mentor who is willing to take the time to break down the specific mistakes that you’re making, as well as give you actionable steps that you can take to improve on a daily basis.
That being said, what sets the Text Game Mentorship apart from other programs is the massive amounts of individualized attention you will receive. This isn’t the kind of coaching program where we
sit down together once a week. I’ll be working with you almost every single day for a month straight. I’ll teach you everything from how to minimize flakiness, to the right way to sext. More importantly, we’ll dive deep into the following three pillars you need to attract a girl over text:
1. Building investment
Without investment there can be no attraction. There are two main levels of investment. Right after you send your first text the goal is to get the girl to invest in talking to you. This is the first level of investment. If she’s not going to contribute anything to an online conversation with you, then she sure as hell isn’t going to want to meet up with you.
One of the best ways to elicit this kind of investment is to bait her curiosity. When you hint to her that there’s something behind what you ARE saying that you’re NOT saying, this piques her curiosity and motivates her to invest in the conversation in order to find out more.
You want to gradually shift from getting her to invest in the conversation to getting her invested in YOU as man. This is the second level of investment, and is achieved by demonstrating value through spiking her emotions, breaking rapport, role-play, etc. In the Mentorship program I teach you how to identify the different signs of investment so you can know where you’re at in the conversation, and I give you a framework for how to move the interaction forward.
2. Frame control
This refers to shaping her interpretation of the social context behind what is being said. You can frame meeting up as a casual hangout, a romantic date, or a spontaneous adventure.
You can frame casual sex as exciting and fun, or as emotionally unfulfilling and pointless, depending on what you’re looking for.
The Text Game Mentorship program covers all of these and more, but it places a special focus on teaching you how to frame yourself as someone whose time and attention must be earned.
Once you learn how to do this effectively, girls will become extremely attracted to you and start to chase you because it lets them know that you’re a man who possesses both self-respect and an abundance mentality.
3. Sexual Tension
You create sexual tension by making a girl want you without actually giving yourself to her. Imagine leaning in to kiss a girl, but stopping just short of her lips and then pausing for a couple of moments. If she’s already attracted to you it’s going to drive her crazy and she might just close the distance and kiss you herself. That’s the power of sexual tension.
In the context of texting, just like with investment, there are two levels of sexual tension. The first one is largely about planting the idea of sex in her mind. There are many ways to do this including innuendo, misinterpretation, and framing her as the sexual aggressor. You can also simply steer the conversation towards topics with a sexual undertone to them.
The second level of tension is getting her to open up to you sexually in a more explicit way. This means talking about her sexual experiences, fantasies, or preferences, with some light sexting thrown in as well.
When building any kind of sexual tension, calibration is KEY. If you sexualize the interaction too fast for the girl’s liking and she doesn’t respond enthusiastically, then you should change your approach and reframe the conversation.
If you really want to internalize these three fundamental principles behind how to attract a girl over text, then click the button below to book a consultation call with me and see if you’re a good fit for the Mentorship program. If you have any questions about the program, then feel free to contact me here.