When it comes to dating, there are so many books out there and it’s hard to know which ones give legitimately applicable advice, and which ones are just complete trash. Over the years, I’ve read almost every single one you can think of and I’ve decided to make a list of the ones that I think will have the biggest impact on your game and dating life as a whole.
It’s important to remember though that you can read all the books in the world, but if you don’t take any action it won’t lead to anything. Nothing beats taking solid consistent action.
In this book Strauss describes how he discovers the pick-up community by stumbling upon an online forum. Intrigued by the subculture and frustrated with his current dating life, he begins engaging in the discussion groups. As he becomes increasingly involved in the community, Strauss attends a bootcamp run by a man named “Mystery”. Mystery along with his counterpart, Sinn, provide him with tips and tricks on everything from body language to exactly what to say in order to generate attraction. Strauss learns these habits which, as he sees it, tend to be basic–and ought to have been taught to him by society in the first place.
Strauss then narrates his journey through the different phases of being a pickup artist. Throughout, Strauss recommends various procedures and techniques. He provides additional guidelines for the practice of seduction, including how to use canned stories to demonstrate value, how to physically escalate, and much more.
At the end of the narrative, Strauss realizes that a lifetime of nothing but pick-up is “for losers”. He warns that game can very easily turn into a dark never-ending hole in which you can get lost like he did, and he recommends incorporating pick-up into a more balanced life.
The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene is probably one of the greatest books of the genre one can find. Greene explains the 9 different types of seducers by taking examples from historical figures like Cleopatra, Kennedy and the likes, and makes it possible to identify which sort of seducer you are. He also includes small tidbits about the best way to ascertain the type of person you may want to seduce, as well as how to tell when someone is attempting to seduce you.
On top of all that, the book outlines about 24 different seductions techniques you can use.
This book is one of the classics. Unlike some of the other books on here, this one is not just about pick-up but more about dating in general and becoming a better man.
In this book you will learn what attracts women and what doesn’t. You’ll learn about neediness, what it is, why it’s bad and how to avoid it. You’ll learn about the fundamental seduction process. The list goes on.
It goes without saying, but if you’re seriously committed to taking your dating life to the next level then this book is a must-read.
if you want a detailed book summary check out our book review article on Models by Mark Manson
Mystery is the Godfather of pick up. If you don’t know who he is…he essentially invented it.
Being one of the first pick-up artists out there, he talks about how when he got started there was no such thing as “pick-up”, so he learnt the hard way through trial and error. Eventually, he became an expert at it, and he created the Mystery Method to make it simpler for everyone else to learn as well.
The Mystery Method in a nutshell:
- Phase 1: Attraction
- Phase 2: Comfort
- Phase 3: Seduction
He breaks down each of these sections individually and essentially explains how to progress through each one step by step.
Being one of the first to do bootcamps, he mentored many of the most famous pick-up artists in history, like Neil Strauss and RSD Tyler.
I am not a big fan of systemizing human interactions. I believe true mastery of game entails being able to express your personality attractively and in an organic way.
But I am fully aware that to learn and move forward we do sometimes need to think systematically, especially when it comes to something as complex as dating.
Mystery was very good at taking something very difficult and breaking it down into smaller steps that guys could replicate in order to improve their dating lives.
The Rational Male is a little more on the controversial red pill theory side, but I genuinely believe that the best way to progress in game is to listen to a wide range of opinions and then decide for yourself what rings true to you.
The Bullet Summary
- In order to become a rational male, one must unplug from societal conditioning (i.e., take the red pill)
- “The one” doesn’t exist
- Having a rotation of different girls helps you maintain an abundance mentality
While I do not personally agree with all of Tomasi’s views, I think his book is a pretty good read. It talks about a lot of the challenges of Long-term Relationships (aka LMR’s) and how to avoid the pitfalls that go along them.
According to the book these are the typical stages of the red pill awakening:
- Denial– refusing to let go of previous ways of thinking
- Anger–anger at society or sometimes at girls for feeding you wrong ideas
- Bargaining– trying to keep some old beliefs
- Depression– the red pill may be a little hard to swallow
- Acceptance– becoming a knowledgeable, healthy rational male
The biggest takeaway from this book is that:
“Women are incapable of loving a man the way he expects to be loved”
Read that one again…
That was a big paradigm shift for me.
This one is more of a spiritual self-help book, but it also has some very solid points when it comes to dating and women in general.
It begins by talking about some very broad topics like your true purpose in life. It poses some important questions such as: What do women really want? What makes a good lover? If you’re a man who’s reading this, you’ve most likely asked yourself something similar at one point in time.
Deida explores the most important issues men usually face in their lives—from work and family to women and love- in order to offer a practical guide for living a masculine life full of integrity, and freedom. The main idea here is to help you to live a life of fulfillment without compromise.
In conclusion, they are many great books out there all with different views on pick-up, dating and relationships. Who has the right answers?
Ultimately it all comes down to you and the philosophies you choose to live by.
Nevertheless, when you’re getting started it’s important to keep in mind two things:
- You want to keep an open mind and make sure to listen to all the different perspectives out there. Only then should you decide for yourself what you want to adopt and what to ignore.
- Nothing will ever beat just plain-old consistent action-taking. At the end of the day, it’s the only way to get more experience and, consequently, a better dating life